Nature's Games
by BrittanaHearts
Summary: Santana is going through some difficulties in her life. She opens up to Brittany, who only wants to help. It gets better in later chapters. Trust me.
1. My pain in lyrics

**~Nature's Games~**

**A/N- Brittana fan fic. **

**Set in high school in Glee club.**

**Santana is going through difficulties understanding who she is. It starts of like any normal fan fic, but it will get better in later chapters. **

**I don't own Glee. (But if I did, it would be one big Brittana kingdom, just saying)**

If a girl smiles on cue, does it mean she's happy? If a teenager walks with her head held high, does it mean she's confident? If a young Latina falls in love with her best friend, does that make her a freak? When Santana Lopez cries herself to sleep at night, why doesn't she have a shoulder to cry on?

Questions don't always mean answers. Being popular doesn't always come with solutions. Falling in love is never easy.

Santana walked into the choir room at school, she scanned the room. She scoffed at Rachel Berry as she looked over her show-tune of choice. She rolled her eyes as Puck made eyes at the white rhino, formally known as Lauren Zizes. She lowered her head, held back her tears and continued walking as she witnessed the object of her desires link fingers with the boy she had lovingly named, Wheels, others know him as Artie.

"Hey, San!" A young blonde girl waved at the Latina, "Come sit!"

Santana smiled but shook her head. She couldn't take it. She'd spent the last nine years of her life pretending to be Brittany's best friend. She'd spent so long wondering why she wanted to do nothing more than to kiss Brittany. In the end, Santana gave up pretending, she gave up wondering. And as a consequence, she gave up Brittany. Something Brittany was oblivious to.

"Hey kids!" Mr. Schue bounced into the choir room, sporting his signature piece of clothing; a vest.

A cluster of "hey"'s and "Sup"'s echoed around the choir room as the kids turned in their seats, getting ready to begin Glee club and hear this week's assignment.

"So, guys!" Mr. Schue rubbed his hands together and took in the sight of the teenagers sat in front of him, "Sing about yourself!"

"Why?" Rachel Berry asked, obviously confused.

"I just think that we need a little confidence boost, we need to remind ourselves of how great we are." Mr. Schue shrugged.

"Does it need to be a pop song?" Tina asked.

"No, as long as it feels right for you!" Mr. Schue explained.

Glee club erupted in chatter about this week's assignment, a few names were thrown up into the air, some familiar, some not so.

"Guys, settle down, I believe Rachel wants to sing something to you this week." Mr. Schue smiled.

"As if having a beak the size of New York City wasn't attention grabbing enough, Man Hands feels the need to give us a show tune each week. Go figure!" Santana spat, reminding everybody about her hatred for the Berry girl.

"Santana!" Mr. Schue snapped. Santana merely held her hands up in defense and rolled her eyes as Rachel began belting out her song.

Santana was leaning against her locker as she waited for the lunch bell to ring so she could get back to class. She'd done a well enough job to avoid Brittany for the entire lunch break, or so she thought.

"Hey!" A young voice chirped from behind Santana.

"Hi." Santana said coldly as she took in Brittany in front of her. It was so easy to get lost in her friends beautiful blue eyes; they twinkled in the moonlight and danced as she laughed. Santana mentally kicked herself as she felt herself starting.

"Santana?" Brittany brought Santana out of her trance.

"What is it, Brittany?" Santana sighed, trying her hardest to sound annoyed.

"Have I done something wrong?" Brittany asked, looking at Santana with her brows furrowed.

"No." Santana said simply before slamming her locker shut and making eye contact with the tall blonde again.

"What is it?" The blonde said quietly, looking at Santana with eyes that didn't want to be lied to.

"I'm fine." Santana snapped.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I've done, or what I've said, but I've obviously done something and I'm sorry, but please don't be mad Santana, I don't want to fight, I'm sorry for whatever I've done and I'm sorry that I'm too dumb too-"

"Stop!" The Latina interrupted, "Just stop." She sighed.

"What is it?" Brittany asked, she grabbed Santana's wrists and ran a comforting thumb over them.

"You're not dumb, Brittany." The Latina sighed before turning away and walking to class.

Santana sat in Geography wanting the clock to move forward faster. She needed to get out of here. Every time Santana closed her eyes, she would see Brittany.

"Santana Lopez!" A loud voice shouted from the front of the class, "Are you listening?"

"No." Santana sighed as she stood up; the young Latina wiped her tears before anybody could see them, "I need to go."

"But Miss Lopez-"Her teacher shouts.

"Please." Santana begged.

The teacher heard the desperation in Santana's voice and saw the tears glisten in Santana's chocolate brown eyes.

"You are dismissed."She whispered to Santana.

Santana nodded and ran. She just ran. She ran to the front of the school and made a sharp left, only to be stopped.

"Santana!" A young girl shouted.

"Please move, Britt." Santana snapped.

"Talk to me, Santana!" Brittany begged, "I miss you!"

"I'm right here!" Santana shouted, "How can you miss me?"

"I miss my friend." Brittany shrugged.

"She's right here!" Santana said.

"No she's not." Brittany shrugged, "Every time I talk to you Santana, you blow me off! I don't understand!"

"Yeah, well maybe after tomorrow's Glee assignment is over, you might understand a little bit more." Santana told her.

"What?"

"We've to sing about ourselves, I'm going to sing about why I am acting this way Brittany, maybe then, you might understand!" Santana shouted, allowing tears to course down her face as she ran away.

"I love you, Santana!" Brittany shouted after her, "You're my best friend."

"I love you too, Britt!" Santana cried back to her as she opened her car door, "You just don't know how much!" Santana shrugged as she entered her car, realizing that Brittany wouldn't understand what the other half of her sentence meant.

Santana drove home, thankful for the silence in her car, thankful that nobody was questioning her, but she was also sad that she had left Brittany feeling as if she had done something wrong.

Santana turned into her drive way. Her house was larger than most houses in Lima; her father was a doctor, so they were able to afford it. The front garden was large, with a small flower display gracing the centre of it. It was nice. It was showy, but it wasn't comforting, it wasn't something that filled Santana's heart with warmth and comfort when she saw it. It wasn't like the feeling she got when she pulled up outside the Pierce household.

"Mom? Dad?" Santana shouted as she opened the heavy door. Santana's voice echoed around the house. Nobody replied. Santana sighed and headed into her bedroom and lay down on the bed. Santana saw a small photo of Brittany on her dresser.

"Why you, Britt?" Santana mumbled, "Why did I fall in love with you? Why am I hiding from you? Why _us_ Britt?" Santana said to herself, almost hoping that the picture would talk back to her.

The young Latina opened her phone up. Two missed calls from Brittany and a text. Santana opened the text and felt a pang of guilt as she read it.

**Please let me be your friend again. Brittany. X**

Santana typed a reply back to Brittany, the screen being slightly blurred by her tears.

**You'll always be my friend. No matter what. San. X**

Santana relaxed into her bed, only to be disturbed by the buzzing of her phone on the side table.

**I hope we do. Brittany. X**

Santana smiled at her friend and wiped away her tears before replying.

**I know we will. Love, S x**

"If you only knew how much I meant the _love_, part." Santana sighed to herself before turning off her phone and closing her eyes, trying to hold back more tears that were threatening to fall.

Santana sat at the back of Glee club once again, looking over at Brittany and Artie who were currently holding hands and looking adoringly into one another's eyes. It made Santana's skin crawl. She wished nothing more than for Brittany to love her, for Brittany to hold her hand. But something's will always just stay wishes

.

"Right guys!" Mr. Schue bounced into the Choir room in his favorite vest, "Who's up first?"

Nobody raised their hand, not even Rachel Berry. Santana glanced over to Brittany and Artie, who were still holding hands.

"I'll go." Santana said, looking over to Brittany, who now wore a worried look on her face.

"Go ahead Santana." Mr. Schue said, stepping to the side of the piano. Santana handed the piano player a small piece of paper before looking at Glee club.

"This is me." Santana shrugged sadly before looking over to Brittany who had now released Artie's hand and was now looking at Santana with those amazing blue eyes. Santana was quickly brought back to reality as the opening chords of the song began to play. And then she sung.

_Well. I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,_

_She felt that every day._

_And I couldn't help her,_

_I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

_What's wrong? What's wrong, now? _

_Too many, too many problems!_

_Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home._

_It's where she lies, broken inside._

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes._

_Broken inside._

Santana looked around the choir room. All eyes were on her, they were all looking amazed; she looked at Brittany, who was looking at her sadly with tears in her eyes.

_Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why._

_You've been rejected, now you can't find what you've left behind._

_Be strong, be strong now._

_Too many, too many problems._

_Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home._

_It's where she lies, broken inside._

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes._

_Broken inside._

Santana breathed out a shaky breath and wiped away some tears that were threatening to fall. With this action, most of the Glee kids finally understood the song. They understood who Santana was singing about. Their eyes looked at her sympathetically, while Brittany just looked confused.

_Her feelings she hides._

_Her dreams she can't find._

_She's losing her mind._

_She's fallen behind._

_She can't find her place._

_She's losing her faith._

_She's fallen from grace._

_She's all over the place._

_Yeah, yeah, oh._

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home._

_It's where she lies, broken inside._

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes._

_Broken inside._

Santana looked at the Glee kids one last time before letting out another shaky sigh as she belted out the final lines.

_She's lost inside, lost inside…Oh oh oh._

_She's lost inside, lost inside…oh oh oh oh._

Santana stopped and smiled sadly at the Glee kids with tears in her eyes.

"Santana, who was that song about?" A sad looking Quinn asked tentatively.

"That song is about the girl I see every time I look in the mirror." Santana said before covering her mouth and running out of Glee club as her tears fell uncontrollably from her beautiful eyes.

"Who does she mean?" A confused Brittany asked a teary Kurt.

"When you look in the mirror, Brittany, who do you see?"

"Me." She answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then who will Santana see when she looks in the mirror?" Kurt sighed sadly.

"Her." Brittany whispered as she finally understood what Santana meant.

"Mr. Schue, I need to go!" Brittany stood up quickly and Mr. Schue just nodded.

"Britt, stop!" Artie shouted frustrated, "My song is about you!"

"Artie, I don't care, did you not hear Santana? Santana comes first!" Brittany shouted.

"What?" He scoffed, shocked at what he heard.

"Santana will always come first!" Brittany repeated as she sprinted out of the choir room.


	2. Breaking

Santana cried in the girl's bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror; she noticed just how lacking of life her eyes were. She noticed how gaunt her face was. She noticed how _desperate_ she looked. It killed her.

"Santana!" Suddenly the heavy door of the bathroom swung open and a tall blonde raced in with a worried look etched upon her face.

"Please don't, Britt." Santana whispered as she turned her head to look at the floor.

"That song, do you really feel like that?"

Brittany's question was answered by a simple sob that escaped Santana's mouth. Brittany immediately lunged forward and wrapped Santana in a warm hug. The blonde girl gently soothed Santana by softly rubbing her hair and doing what they always did when they needed each other; she linked their pinkies.

"You could've talked to me, San. You could've talked to anyone!" Brittany told her. The feel of Brittany's breath on her neck made Santana stiffen.

"No, Britt. I really can't." Santana shrugged. Brittany's heart sank; she slowly let the grip loosen on Santana's pinkie.

"I'm your best friend, Santana." Brittany whispered through shining eyes that were brimming with unshed tears.

"I know." Santana said dejectedly as she stared at her shoes again.

"What happened to us, San?" Brittany asked before looking sadly at Santana and walking out of the girls bathrooms.

"Love." Santana whispered to herself.

What did happen to the girls? What happened to the girls that were inseparable? Santana and Brittany. Brittany and Santana. They came as a package; they always had, ever since they met all those years ago in school. Santana was eight, Brittany was eight. Santana was in the duck group; Brittany was in the duck group. From then on in, the two girls were joined. Connected. _Soul mates_, so to speak.

So what happened? Santana fell in love. All those years ago when Brittany handed Santana her favorite eraser; Santana had loved her. And when all of Santana's feelings made sense to her; she got scared.

"_Brittany, meet Santana, Santana; meet Brittany." A young woman introduced the two young girls as she sat them down at their new seats. _

"_Hello." The dark haired girl said shyly._

"_Hey." The considerably taller blonde girl said._

_That was the first words spoken between the two. The first of many. The girls played together at recess, they played together at weekends; they whispered during school work and even cried when the teacher tried to separate them. Time flew by for the girls, and before they knew it, it was the summer before they started high school. _

_The two teenagers lay on Brittany's lawn, staring up at the sky._

"_San?" _

"_Yeah, Britt-Britt?" Santana replied._

"_You're my best friend."Brittany said._

"_And you're mine, Brit. But, did you not already know that?" Santana pondered._

"_Yeah, I knew, but we've never said it." Brittany shrugged, "I'm going to keep you forever." Brittany giggled._

"_I'm not going anywhere!" Santana sighed contently as she shuffled closer to Brittany._

"_Promise?" Brittany giggled sweetly, the sound warmed Santana to her core._

"_Promise!" Santana confirmed._

"_Pinky-promise?" _

_Santana smiled sweetly and gently entwined her pinky finger with Brittany's and squeezed gently._

"Brittany, why'd you run off?" Artie snapped as Brittany entered the choir room.

"Santana.." Brittany trailed.

"No!" Artie shouted, "I was goi-"

"Hey! Don't speak to her like that!" A pissed Quinn cut him off raising her voice as the blood inside her boiled with rage.

"She's my girlfriend!" Artie replied.

"Hey, Artie! Stop shouting at all the girls! Brittany's upset and if you ever speak to her like that ever again, I will not be held responsible for my actions!" Puck threatened as he stood from his chair and hovered over Artie.

"Whatever! She's my girlfriend, deal with it!"

"No, you know what, Artie, I'm not. We're done." Brittany sighed as she wiped away a few stray tears from her eyes as she sat next to a sympathetic Quinn.

"You can't break up with me!" Artie shouted.

"Well, she just did!" The Glee kids looked round in shock as the normally reserved, Mike stood from his chair and shouted over at Artie, "Brittany is our girl and nobody treats her like that!"

The entire Glee club chorused an agreement at Mike's statement. Mr. Schue just looked on amazed, slightly glad at what was happening in front of him, he even let a small smile play on his lips as Artie slowly wheeled himself out of the choir room, into the deserted halls of McKinley High. But that smile was soon wiped away and replaced with a concerned look as Santana entered the room again, mascara marks clear for all to see.

"Santana.." Mr. Schue began.

"I'm fine." Santana sighed, taking her seat. The whole room tensed as nobody knew what to say.

"I'm proud of you." Mr. Schue said to Santana sincerely as he broke the silence. Santana looked over to Brittany who was looking at Santana. She smiled sadly before shaking her head and looking away, as if to say, _"Why can't you trust me?"_

"Mr. Schue, I have a song." Brittany spoke up.

"Wow, really?" Mr. Schue asked. The whole Glee classroom was stunned. Brittany never sang.

"Really." Brittany confirmed as she handed guitar tab to a confused Puck and some piano music to the pianist.

Brittany let out a shaky breath as the opening chords began to play. Santana's head shot up as she recognized the song and realized that this was a time when she had to sit up and listen to Brittany; something she hadn't been doing lately.

_You took my hand, you showed me how._

_You promised me you'd be around_

_Uh huh_

_That's right._

_I took your words_

_And I believed in everything_

_You said to me,_

_Yeah huh_

_That's right._

Everybody was looking at Brittany, but Santana could feel people focusing on her. It was no secret that Santana and Brittany did everything together, but now, it was no secret that there was something rocking the boat.

_If someone said three years from now,_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up and punch them out,_

_Cause they're all wrong._

_I know better,_

_Cause you said forever_

_And ever._

A few stray looks from Kurt and Mercedes made their way to Santana as she struggled to contain her tears. Brittany noticed that Santana was a mess, this only spurred her on further as she belted out the song with much more power and soul, determined to get a message across.

_Remember when we were such fools?_

_And so convinced and just too cool?_

_Oh no, no, no._

_I wish I could touch you again,_

_I wish I could still call you friend,_

_I'd give anything._

That one line, _I wish I could still call you friend_, made everybody's heart jump. Even Brittany. Tears feel freely down Santana's face. Quinn looked between the two girls sympathetically. She'd known for years that what the girls had would eventually bloom into so much more than friendship, the last thing she wanted to see was the girls that mean the most to her, crumble. Brittany continued.

_When someone said count your blessings now,_

_For they're long gone,_

_I guess I just didn't know how,_

_I was all wrong._

_But they knew better,_

_Still you said forever, _

_And ever,_

_Yeah, yeah._

Memories flooded Santana's mind of her and Brittany as children running, crying, laughing. It broke her heart to know that she couldn't tell the girl she'd known for so many years, how she felt. Brittany thought about Santana as she sang the song, tears were threatening to fall from her eyes too, but she was determined not to let her mask slip, unaware that it was no longer there.

_I'll keep you locked up in my head_

_Until we meet again_

_Until we, until we meet again_

_And I won't forget you, my friend,_

_What happened?_

_If someone said three years from now,_

_You'd be long gone,_

_I'd stand up and punch them out,_

_Cause they're all wrong._

_And that last kiss, I'll cherish._

_Until we meet again,_

_And time makes it harder_

_I wish I could remember._

Santana's face fell pale at the mention of the _last kiss_. She and Brittany had made out before. It was no secret. Brittany made it clear that she sort of enjoyed it when she and Santana were paired together during spin the bottle or when Santana _accidently_ kissed Brittany whilst _drunk._ In Santana's mind, these kisses meant nothing more to Brittany than drunken frolics, but to Santana, they meant so much more. They were Santana secretly displaying her true love for Brittany without her knowing it.

_But I keep your memory,_

_You visit me in my sleep,_

_My darling, who knew_

_My darling,_

_My darling, who knew?_

_My darling, I miss you,_

_My querido, who know?_

Glee club went entirely silent at the lyric change in the song that Brittany made to make it painfully clear who the song was aimed at. Brittany smiled sadly and continued as she tried to fight back to tears.

"Wow!" Mr. Schue clapped as Brittany finished, "That was, um, heartfelt to say the least!"

An awkward silence fell over the choir room and Brittany took her place next to Quinn. Santana sat alone at the edge of the row as she quietly watched Brittany at the side of her eye. She could feel Quinn's sympathetic look bore into her and she could feel Kurt and Mercedes steal glances at her and Brittany. Thankfully, the bell rang.

Santana grabbed her school back and slung it over her shoulder, as did Brittany. They were the last to get up.

"Brittany, Santana, come here!" Mr. Schue summoned both girls over from their seats, "Girls, I think I have a fair idea what's going on. I'm not going to lie, it's just an assumption, but you two are going to figure things about one way or another. You two have the strongest friendship I've ever laid eyes on and I am not going to let you two give that away. You have an hour." He shrugged before leaving the choir room, leaving Brittany and Santana alone.

An extremely awkward silence fell over the girls, causing Brittany to speak up.

"Things never used to be awkward." She whispered to Santana.

"Things never used to be complicated." Santana replied, meeting Brittany's gaze.

"Complicated?" Brittany asked.

"Me, my _issues,_ you and Art-"

"I broke up with him." Brittany murmured, Santana didn't say anything, "He never spoke to me like we used to speak, and when I saw you today in the bathroom; I realized that I care about, and all I'll ever care about, is you. You're my best friend." Brittany shrugged.

"You don't know how a stab in the heart feels like, do you?" Santana sighed. Brittany just shook her head, "Every time you call me your best friend, it really, really hurts."

"Why?" Brittany asked, confused.

"I can't tell you." Santana sobbed.

"But, I sang that song to you!" Brittany said as she let a lonesome tear fall.

"I know." Santana whimpered, remembering a few select lyrics from the song.

Santana took a seat at the opposite end of the choir room and watched Brittany. Each tear that fell from the perfect blonde's eye was like a stab to the heart. Each sob that escaped the dancer's mouth, was like a slap in the face.

Santana looked at her face in a nearby mirror. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were bleak, her face was gaunt and her lips were cracked.

Santana was broken.

She was broken on the inside as her inner demons ate away at her. Santana was being stripped away from the inside. Day by day; Santana was fading.


	3. Shattered

**Thank you to everybody who has bothered to read this story, and if you reviewed, you will be forever loved. Thanks:) **

Santana sat on her bed, clutching a small pillow that Brittany had bought her, trying to find some form of comfort from it. In the choir room, she and Brittany didn't speak after the first five minutes. It made Santana feel sad; knowing that just across town, lay her best friend, the love of her life. There's nothing Santana would want more than to walk down the street hand in hand with Brittany. But for that to happen, she's need Brittany to return are love and social acceptance; Two things that would never come.

"Santana!" A warm voice sounded through the large house.

"Yes, mama?"

"You have a visitor!" She shouted, and as if on cue, in stepped a familiar blonde.

"You've been crying." The girl stated.

"Life's a bitch, Q." Santana shrugged. She looked into her friend's hazel eyes as she tried to find some sort of hint to why she was here.

"_Love's_ a bitch." Quinn corrected. Santana looked at Quinn.

"What?" Santana whimpered her voice cracking.

"You're in love." Quinn stated matter-of-factly.

"With who?" Santana snapped, bring her guards up.

"You know who, San." Quinn said sympathetically.

"I'm not in love with Brittany!" Santana protested.

"I never said you were." Quinn answered smugly.

"Oh.." Santana trailed. The young Latina wanted the world to swallow her whole. She clutched her bed sheets and bit her lip.

"Santana, why don't you just tell her?" Quinn asked before continuing, "Nobody in Glee club will have a problem Santana, especially Brittany. Yes, you'll get the odd asshole you tries to poke fun at you, but you're Santana fucking Lopez!" Quinn giggled.

"Quinn, why are you not freaking out? You've just found out your friend is..not interested in guys and you're sitting here, trying to make me feel better! If this was Rachel Berry then-" Santana asked, completely confused as her friends, um, friendliness.

"Santana, I've known for years, it's you who has just found out." Quinn giggled, "And if this was Rachel Berry, I would be saying the same thing to her as I am to you, I'm a bitch, but I'm not an asshole!" Quinn winked.

"Quinn, you don't understand." Santana sobbed, "The looks, the stares, the taunts, I can't do it! Santana fucking Lopez or not, I can't do it! I can't tell my mom, I can't tell my dad and I sure as hell can't tell Brittany!"

"Why can't you tell your mom? She's your mom." Quinn stated.

"I just know I can't!" Santana cried.

"Well, Taylor asked her out today." Quinn sighed, "You need to get your girl, San."

"She's not my girl to get!" Santana sobbed.

Quinn looked at the girl she called her friend. She always thought Santana as independent, she always considered her to be somebody who didn't care about what anybody else thought. It broke her heart. It broke her heart to see the girl she always admired, to break down. It broke her heart to see one of the closest people in her life, slowly fade away and become a shadow of herself.

"Santana, I need to go, but please, please remember, whatever happens, I'll support you." Quinn smiled as tears threatened to spill from her hazel eyes.

"Please don't tell anybody!" Santana begged.

"I won't." Quinn replied. Santana smiled at Quinn's answer, it was laced with sincerity and promise.

Santana wondered what Brittany had said to Taylor. It wasn't unknown that he was the biggest player in the school, but it also wasn't a secret that Brittany had a soft spot for him. That fact alone made Santana want to kill somebody.

Santana's phone buzzed on her bedside table, indicating she had a text. Santana brought her knees up to her chest and cried at the text.

**She said yes. Q. x **

In Santana's eyes, it was over. Brittany would fall hard for Taylor. She knew she would, but she knew that when Taylor would finally break Brittany's heart, Santana would need to be the one picking up the pieces. Santana didn't think she had the confidence or will power to do that.

Santana cried herself to sleep again that night. She dreamt of a time when Brittany would kiss her openly, when Santana could whisper sweet nothings into Brittany's ear without secret glances and passing judgments.

…

Santana entered the Glee choir room. She was all too aware of the looks she was receiving, but she had reached at point in her life when she simply never cared. Glee club wasn't on, but some of the kids liked coming here to hang out between lessons.

"Hey, Santana!" Quinn waved to her enthusiastically, trying to conceal the deep doubts she had for her friend's well-being.

"Have you seen her today?" Santana whispered into Quinn's ears.

"Uh." Quinn tripped over her words as her gaze fell to the choir room door.

Brittany stood with her hands in her pockets, and standing over her with one arm over head as he leaned lazily on the door frame, was Taylor. He said something into Brittany's ear that made her smile and giggle sweetly. Before leaving Taylor to join the rest of Glee club, Brittany stood on her toes and gave Taylor a little peck on the lips.

Quinn looked over a Santana who was looking down at her shoes. She was broken.

"It won't last." Quinn assured Santana as she rubbed her back soothingly.

Brittany waved goodbye to Taylor and turned around the Glee club in front of her. She saw the scene between Santana and Quinn. It hurt Brittany to witness Quinn consoling Santana over something that Brittany herself knew nothing about. Brittany allowed one final tear to fall from her eye before Kurt called her over.

"Brittany?" Kurt asked, "What's wrong?"

"I feel like I'm an awful friend. Something's wrong with Santana and I don't know what it is." Brittany whispered.

"Just because Santana is going through a rough patch, doesn't make you a bad friend." Kurt told her, "I'm getting the impression that Santana is, um, confused, about a few things, all Santana needs right now, is for her to know that as she walks down the path life had lead her to, she needs to know that when she turns around, you'll be right behind her." Kurt smiled, slightly taken aback at his own words.

"She's already starting to replace me." Brittany mumbled.

Kurt glanced over to the scene between Quinn and Santana, "No Britt, she isn't." He replied, "Santana could never replace you, people like you could never be replaced." Kurt sighed.

Brittany smiled at Kurt before Quinn came to join the pair.

"Britt, why don't you go talk to San?" Quinn said, motioning over to the broken girl.

"Okay." Brittany whispered nervously as she made her way over to the Latina.

Quinn turned her attention to Kurt and he looked at her knowingly.

"I heard your conversation." Quinn said with a smile.

"And?" Kurt replied, looking at Quinn's all too familiar smirk.

"When you said, _people like you could never be replaced,_ what did you mean?" Quinn wondered.

"First loves." Kurt whispered as he looked at Santana as she stared adoringly into a rambling Brittany's eyes.

"You know!" Quinn gasped.

"Quinn, I'm gay myself, I've been through all of the pain Santana's going through now. I get it." Kurt shrugged.

"She admitted it to me last night. I broke my heart, Kurt." Quinn admitted.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked as he placed a soothing hand on Quinn's knee.

"I've known that girl since I was eleven, now she's seventeen and she's breaking." Quinn told him.

"She'll get through it. Either Brittany will come to her senses and see that nobody will ever be able to love and understand her as much as Santana can, or she'll find some beautiful girl and fall in love with her instead." Kurt sighed.

"If she does find another girl, Brittany will always be the one for Santana. I believe that they're, that they're, um, they're.." Quinn tried to come up with the right words.

"Soul mates?" Kurt suggested.

"Exactly!" Quinn said excitedly, "I truly believe that everybody has soul mates, whether it is your sister, you best friend or your lover, Brittany is Santana's soul mate." Quinn smiled sadly as she looked over to Brittany and Santana. The two girls were sitting on the chairs, tears threatening in both of their eyes as they sat so close, yet they were so far apart.

…

Brittany lay in her bed on a quiet Saturday evening; she watched the night go by as she looked at photos of her and Taylor. Brittany giggled as she came across one with Taylor sticking his tongue out but her smile was soon wiped away as she came across a picture of her a Santana. Brittany was smiling widely at the camera, while Santana looked at Brittany with a smile that was filled with love and adoration. It was Brittany's favorite picture of her and Santana. She wasn't sure why, but it just was. Brittany smiled sadly as she remembered when that picture was taken.

"_Oh, come on San; let me take a picture with me best friend!" Brittany asked as she pulled off her signature pout._

"_No, Britt!" Santana protested._

"_Please!" Brittany begged in the middle of the park. They had just been feeding the ducks when Brittany demanded a picture._

"_Only because I love you!" Santana laughed sweetly before wrapping an arm around the slim blonde and posed for a picture. She waited for about five seconds, but nothing happened._

"_I can't get this to work!" Brittany said with a laugh._

"_Look," Santana took the camera from Brittany, "Press that button!" _

"_Thanks, San!" Brittany smiled as she kissed the Latina on the cheek before smiling at the camera. The Latina on the other hand, was still staring at her best friend. _

_The two girls walked to an area in the park where they could look over the duck pond as the sun set. When they finally reached it, Santana sat her back against a tree and Brittany lay her head down on Santana's lap, allowing the Latina to play with her blonde locks. _

"_You're my best ever friend, B!" Santana said sincerely._

"_Me too." Brittany sighed contently, earning a loving giggle, from the young Latina._

Brittany held onto her picture tightly and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that maybe something magical will happen and she'd be transported back to that magical day. Instead, when she opened her eyes, she was still in her bed and she and Santana were still not speaking. So, the young blonde picked up her phone and decided to text the brunette.

**Are we still friends? B x**

Brittany drummed her fingers on her bed as she waited for a reply. Her breath hitched when she felt her phone vibrate beneath her finger tips.

**I don't think so, B. San x**

Brittany let out a loud cry as she read the text. Her heart felt so heavy and her whole body felt like it could not support itself.

**Goodbye, then. B x**

Brittany quickly sent the text before crying into her pillow. The young blonde was so confused. One day she and Santana were pinky linking and laughing, the next, Brittany was wondering if she'll ever be able to have the Latina in her arms again.

**Don't say goodbye. It makes everything too real. Santana x**

Brittany read Santana's reply didn't know what to do. The Latina was pushing Brittany out of her life. Why did she say 'Santana' and not 'San'? What is becoming too real?

**I can't not say goodbye. You're confusing me S. B x**

Brittany held her phone tight in her hands and immediately opened it as it buzzed with a text.

**Please. Give me a few weeks to sort my shit out. I do want to be your friend, I just can't right now. S x**

Santana's reply did not help Brittany understand what Santana meant, but she accepted Santana's answer. She turned her phone off, brought her knees up to her chest, and sobbed.

…

Brittany stood at her locker as she retrieved her books she needed for math lesson. Brittany grabbed the books she needed and leant against her locker, she did it subconsciously. Once Brittany noticed that she was waiting for Santana, she mentally kicked herself and walked off.

Not having Santana by her side as she walked to class felt strange. She has spent her childhood and teenage years walking with Santana, and now, all of a sudden, things were changing; And Brittany didn't like it.

Santana watched Brittany from afar as she walked to class. Her heart broke. She looked so lost. Santana wanted to do nothing more than go up to Brittany, apologize and grab her by the waist and give her the longest, most loving hug she'd ever given anybody. She wanted to, but she knew she couldn't. She was actually about to act upon her urges until she say a tall figure round the corner and sweep Brittany into his arms. It was Taylor. Her heart shattered at the sight.

"He'll only break her heart." Quinn whispered into Santana's ear as she noticed the Latina stare at the scene in front of her.

"I know." Santana sighed, "But what am I supposed to do, Quinn? When he does break her, how am I going to help her, knowing that she didn't do the same for me when mine was broken?"

"She doesn't know you feel like this Santana! She doesn't know she's breaking your heart!"

"She's not breaking it Quinn, it's been broken for a while." Santana shrugged.

…

Santana walked downstairs and was greeted by the loud booming of the television.

"Santana." Her mother and father said in unison as she entered the room.

"Did you hear about that guy down the street? His son's in hospital!" Santana said, trying to make conversation.

"Really?" Her mom asked.

"Yeah, he was mugged apparently, you know Mr. Wilson? His son!" Santana explained.

"The gay one?" Her dad asked.

"Yeah."

"Serves him right then!" Her dad said and her mother sniggered, "These gays nowadays! He got what was coming to him!" Her dad shouted.

"You think he deserved it because he was gay?" Santana asked, not even pretending to be okay with his answer.

"Yes, it's wrong sweetie!" Her mom told her, "More and more people think it's acceptable, but it's just not!" She said.

"Your mother's right. It's a sin!" Her father agreed.

Santana's heart broke. She knew her family was religious, but not like this. How was she supposed to accept who she was if her parents, people who are supposed to love you no matter what, couldn't?

Santana walked slowly up the stairs as she prepared for another night of crying herself until she fell into the land of nightmares and demons.


	4. Accepting and Admitting

**A/N – Again, if you read this story, I love you, but if you reviewed it, I love you more, because I don't know what you guys want to see from the story or whatever, and, everybody loves a bit of feedback. Good or bad! :) **

…

Santana sat alone in Glee club. What her parents had said the other night had terrified her. She knew that one day, she'd have to stop hiding in the shadows and be who she is supposed to be. But right now, she's just not ready.

"Hey." Quinn smiled softly as she knocked on the door as she noticed Santana sitting by herself.

"Hey." Santana sighed.

"Hey, S. What's up?"Quinn asked with furrowed brows.

"Have you ever been so scared to do something that it makes you feel physically sick?"

"No," Quinn answered honestly, "But you are, and you're going to tell me." Quinn said as she gave Santana's knee a comforting squeeze.

"The other night, I was telling my mom and dad about the Wilson boy who got mugged," Santana sighed sadly before wiping away her tears, "They told me he deserved it."

"What? Why!" Quinn shouted, obviously shocked.

"He deserved it because he is gay." Santana sobbed as she finally made eye-contact with Quinn.

"Oh my god, Santana, I don't know what.."

"You don't have to say anything, Quinn." Santana shrugged.

"I need to tell my parents in the vain hope that maybe they'll love me enough to accept me."

"You need to tell Brittany before you tell them." Quinn argued.

"I need to tell myself first." The Latina admitted, "I haven't even admitted it to myself, Q. I can't say it, because I know as soon as I say it, it will make everything so much worse."

"Or it might feel as if a weight has been lifted?" Quinn stated as she looked sympathetically into the Latina's deep brown eyes.

"What?"

"Try it, babe. Just say, _I'm a lesbian"_

"It's not that easy, Q." Santana said as she dropped her head to her hands.

"Try it!" The hazel eyed girl persisted.

"I..I..I'm a..I'm a le..lesbian." Santana stuttered, smiling slightly as the sentence finally trailed of her lips.

"Say it again."

"I'm a lesbian." Santana whispered, "I, Santana Lopez, am a lesbian!" Santana said proudly.

"How do you feel?" Quinn asked as she hugged the brunette tightly.

"Like a weight has been lifted, just like you said!" The Latina laughed, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Quinn winked as she placed a small kiss on the side of Santana's head and left the choir room.

…

The entire Glee club sat in the choir room as they waited for Mr. Schue to come in and give them today's lesson. Tina and Mike sat in the corner whispering sweet nothings to each other, Kurt and Mercedes sat gossiping about the school's latest dramas and Rachel stared longingly at Finn as he twiddled his thumbs. Santana was doing what she would always do; she stared at the door, waiting for that gorgeous blonde to walk through the door. Then she did. Brittany walked to the edge of the choir room, hand in hand with Taylor. She leaned against the door frame, Taylor hovered over her, resting one arm above her head as he slowly leant down and pecked her on the cheek. But something was different this week, Brittany whispered something to Taylor. _I love you._

Brittany looked around the room for a seat to sit in, she noticed the vacant seat beside Santana and she almost went to take it before she noticed what she was doing, so she went over to Kurt instead. Quinn looked over at the heartbroken Latina sympathetically and gave her arm a soothing squeeze.

"Was that a little _I love you_, I saw there, Miss Pierce?" Mercedes winked to Brittany, completely unaware that behind her, Santana was eavesdropping.

"Maybe," The blonde teased, "But I think he may be the one. He makes me feel so special!" As Brittany said this, her eyes twinkled. Santana couldn't help but smile; she'd never seen the girl like this over anybody.

"Aw, that's cute!" Mercedes laughed. Kurt looked up briefly and looked at Santana. The Latina was smiling, but her eyes showed a girl who was completely broken.

…

Santana lay in her bed as she looked over old photographs. The young girl hadn't come out to anybody except herself and Quinn. And that was a big enough step for now.

The Latina mindlessly flicked through some old photographs from last summer. She giggled lightly as she saw one of her and Puck pouting at the camera, she sighed as she saw one with her and her grandma, whom she missed dearly. Santana was just about to close to album when something fell out of it. A picture, but it had something written on the back; a note.

_Dear, Santana,_

_Look at this picture. You look so beautiful feeding the ducks, and the ducks look so cute. _

_Never change,_

_Love from, Brittany S Pierce. _

Santana turned the photo around and looked at the picture. Santana was bent over at the duck pond as she threw some bread for the ducks and she was smiling widely. In the picture, you could see Brittany's feet which had made their way into the picture as Brittany took it. The sight and memory warmed Santana's heart. It reminded her of the good times, and before she knew it, she was in her car driving to the Pierce household.

Santana's grip on her steering wheel was so intense; her hands had begun to turn white. Santana made a sharp left and before she knew it; she was knocking on Brittany's door.

"Santana, this is a lovely surprise!" Chirped a middle aged, blonde, woman. She wore the same smile as Brittany. It was painfully obvious that this was Brittany's mother.

"Hey, Emily, is Brittany in?" Santana asked as she looked over the older blonde's shoulder to see if she could see Brittany in the living area.

"She's in her room, head straight up, you know where it is." Mrs. Pierce smiled sweetly as Santana climbed the stairs and made the right turn, that lead her to Brittany's room. When she reached the room, the door was slightly ajar, she could see Brittany, but Brittany could not see her. She took a second to look at Brittany and mentally kicked herself for leaving the innocent girl without a best friend. Santana then realized Brittany was on the phone, so she decided to stay outside the blonde's room until the conversation was over.

"Yeah, Taylor, I just miss her." Brittany sighed as she played with the small teddy bear the sat on her pillow.

"Yeah, I understand that I have you, but I miss Santana!" Brittany said. The Latina's breath hitched and her head spun as she heard the blonde speak her name.

"Yeah, see you soon Taylor." Brittany mumbled as she hung up the phone. Just as Santana was about to head in to the room, Brittany suddenly knelt down and began praying.

"Hey God, or Jesus, or whoever bothers to listen," Brittany sighed and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, "I know I've never been religious, but I promise to change if you can get Santana to boop my nose one final time, if you can get her to walk me to class once more, but I promise to be the best person ever if you can make her be my friend again. Amen."

Brittany got up slowly and picked up her guitar. Santana was about to walk in, then she heard the blonde play the first few chords; then she sang.

_I know you're somewhere out there,_

_Somewhere far away,_

_I want you back,_

_I want you back._

Santana held her breath as she let Brittany's angelic voice sound through the room and out into the hall way, the Latina was all too aware that this song was aimed at her.

_My neighbors think I'm crazy,_

_But they don't understand,_

_You're all I have,_

_You're all I have._

Brittany let out a shaky sigh as she continued strumming on her worn out acoustic guitar.

_At night when the stars light up my room,_

_I sit by myself,_

_Talking to the moon,_

_Try to get to you,_

_In hopes you're on the other side,_

_Talking to me too,_

_Or am I fool,_

_Who sits, alone, talking to the moon?_

Santana let some tears fall gracefully from her eyes. Only now did she realize how much she missed Brittany, how much she missed the phone calls, the texts, the looks and the pinky holds. She missed it all. Brittany continued.

_I'm feeling like I'm famous,_

_The talk of the town,_

_They say I've gone mad,_

_Yeah, I've gone mad._

_But they don't know what I know,_

_Cause when the sun goes down, _

_Someone's talking back_

_Yeah, they're talking back._

Santana let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she listened to Brittany pour her heart out. Brittany's heart was pounding. She wished that maybe someday she and Santana could speak again, it had only been one month since they had stopped, but already, life seemed bleaker.

_At night when the stars light up my room,_

_I sit by myself,_

_Talking to the moon,_

_Try to get to you,_

_In hopes you're on the other side,_

_Talking to me too,_

_Or am I fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?_

Brittany played the final few notes before placing her guitar on the floor and allowing emotions to take over as she placed her hands over her face and cried. Santana's heart felt so heavy as she watched the girl she loved, break down and cry.

"Hey, boo." Santana knocked gently on the door, startling Brittany slightly.

"S-S-Santana!" Brittany gasped as she quickly wiped her tears.

"We need to talk don't we?" Santana laughed slightly as she tilted her head.

"Yeah, yeah we do." Brittany whispered her agreement.

"Can I sit down?" Santana asked, still unsure to what page they were on.

"Sure." Brittany croaked.

Santana looked around at the pale yellow walls, covered in soft flower patterns, it warmed her heart.

"So, I'm sorry." Santana started, "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I didn't explain. I'm sorry, Brittany, I'm just sorry."

"Hey." Brittany took the Latina's hand in her own and rubbed it gently as she saw tears fall from Santana's eyes, "Don't cry." Brittany said as she wiped away Santana's tears.

"I don't deserve you. I never did and I never will!" Santana sobbed.

"What?" Brittany asked confused.

"I don't deserve you, and I'm a fool for thinking I ever could!"

"What? San, you're perfect!" Brittany said as she gave the Latina a bone crushing hug.

"No, you are! I've not spoken to you in a month, I've made you feel as if you've done something terrible, and here you are, telling me I'm perfect!" Santana laughed as she fought off more tears.

"Please stop putting, yourself down!" The blonde said forcefully. Santana looked deep into Brittany's eyes and sighed.

"Taylor doesn't know how lucky he is."

"What does Taylor have to do with this?" Brittany asked with furrowed brows.

"Nothing," Santana lied "You know in Glee club, was that song really about me? Is that really how you feel?"

"Yeah," Brittany nodded as she looked at her hands, "It is. The song you sang, is that how you feel?"

"Well, first things first," Santana smiled, "You're never losing me, not ever, and well, yeah, it is how I feel." The Latina shrugged sadly.

"You could've told you me that you felt like that! You could trust me like you trust Quinn!" Brittany shouted.

"Quinn came to be, I didn't go to her!" Santana protested.

"I came to you too!" Brittany shouted, "You never told me, but then I see you in Glee club hugging Quinn and letting her comfort you, what's wrong with me? Why are you replacing me?"

"What? " Santana shouted, "I could never replace you, B. Never! I spoke to Quinn because it was easier, nothing is wrong with you Britt. You're perfect in every way shape and form, trust me!"

"Then stop pushing me away!" Brittany sobbed; Santana put a gentle hand on Brittany's shoulder as she sobbed.

"Brittany, I'm different." Santana said, feeling brave all of a sudden.

"What?"

"Brittany, I've been so mad because I'm confused," The Latina sighed, "I'm confused about certain feelings I've been having, about certain thoughts and stuff."

"And, what?" Brittany asked, not really understanding what Santana was getting at.

"Brittany, I'm gay!" Santana blurted out.

Brittany smiled at the Latina. She didn't say anything; all she did was engulf the Latina in a bone crushing hug before pulling back.

"I am so, so proud of you." Brittany said as she wiped away her tears.

"What? You don't care?"

"What you just did was so brave, Santana," Brittany said sincerely, "And it doesn't bother me, it doesn't concern me who you love, whether it be man or woman, it's your choice and I'm proud of you. No matter what."

"Brittany, I'm in love." The Latina sighed.

"Ooh, who with?" The Blonde smirked.

Santana looked deep into the blonde's eyes. She got lost momentarily. The blonde was truly the most gorgeous person she'd ever laid eyes on.

"I'm in love with _you_, Brittany."


	5. One Last Try

**A/N* - Again, I don't own Glee. I never will, unfortunately. But yeah, thank you for reading this story, or making it a favorite, and even better, reviewing. Thank you:***

…

Santana and Brittany stared at each other, an uneasy silence settling around them. Santana felt stupid. Why had she told Brittany? Why did she come here? Why did she care so much? Why did she love Brittany? The blonde looked at Santana briefly and the Latina's breath hitched at the sight. _That's why, _Santana thought.

"I-I need to go, B." Santana stood up and looked at Brittany, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have come."

"D-Don't go!" Brittany stuttered as she quickly grabbed the Latina's manicured hand. Santana's heart-skipped at beat at the sudden contact.

"Brittany, please let me go. I need to leave." Santana begged as tears fell from her eyes.

"Santana!" Brittany shouted, grabbing the Latina's attention once again, "Please, five minutes!"

Santana took one look into Brittany's gorgeous orbs of blue and melted. How could she say no? What people don't understand about love, is that it's not something you can ask for, it's not something that you can make yourself do..it just comes. That's how Santana sees it. She didn't ask to fall in love with Brittany, she didn't make herself fall in love with Brittany; she just did. No matter how hard Santana's outer shell was, or no matter how many walls Santana builds up, one look into Brittany's eyes and they shell is broken and the wall crash around her.

"5 minutes." Santana sighed as she sat on the bed again. She was terrified, she had just out-d herself to her best friend and expressed her love to her; but there was no screaming, no fighting, no abandoning one another, just _acceptance_; something Santana had never experienced.

"How do you know?" Brittany asked with her brow slightly furrowed.

"Know what?"

"That you're not into guys, because last time I checked, you were pretty into them." Brittany asked with a small smile, lightening the mood.

"I don't know." Santana shrugged, "I slept with all of those guys because I didn't want to admit it." Santana looked at her hands before continuing, "I didn't want to admit to myself that I was different. I didn't want it to be real, I didn't want to be the social outcast, I just thought, the more I sleep with guys, the less real it becomes, but in actual fact, it just made it a whole lot scarier. Brittany, I didn't want to be me." Santana gave out a small chuckle, "I_ don't_ want to be me."

"Santana, you are amazing in every way shape and form. You got that? Whether you love a girl or a boy, you're still amazing. You shouldn't need to hide!" Brittany said, desperately trying to cheer Santana up.

"You don't get it Brittany!" Santana snapped, "I didn't fall in love with that girl at the candy store, I didn't fall in love with Cindy from Wal-Mart, I fell in love with you, my best friend, my _girl _best friend and you don't even seem to care!"

"That's because, truth is Santana, I don't care!" Brittany said, "I like Taylor, you like me, and that's how it is. Sometimes, things don't work out, I don't care that you like me, things will not change, Santana, you're still my best friend, you're still the girl I trust more than anybody else, you're still you!"

"But things already have changed, Britt." Santana said quietly, "You're right, you like Taylor, but I _love_ you Brittany. I love you. I know you might never love me back, or you may never understand how much I love you, or how hard it was for me to tell you all of this with me knowing full well, tomorrow morning, you'll be running into the arms of Taylor. Brittany, you don't get it." Santana let her walls down again from Brittany and let the tears fall.

"I'm with Taylor, Santana." Brittany shrugged sadly.

"Don't remind me," Santana sobbed, "Please."

"I'm sorry, Santana, but this is hard for me too, you know!"

"What?" Santana shrieked, "Don't tell me this is hard for you! Brittany, I am a teenage girl, growing up in Lima, with homophobic parents, who just told her best friend she was in love with her, only to have her best friend reject her completely!" Santana shouted, "Don't tell me this is hard for you, Brittany! Don't you fucking dare! Eighteen months of sleeping with every boy at McKinley, trying to block out the reality that I am a lesbian, who is in love with her friend, do you realize how many times my heart shattered when you held Artie's hand? Do you realize that when you finally broke up with him, I got my hopes up a little, and then the next day, I see you with Taylor? Do you realize how that feels Brittany? Do you realize how it feels to hold a pillow every night because it's the only thing that doesn't judge? Do you, Brittany? Do you?"

"No.." Brittany trailed.

"So _don't _say this is hard for you!" Santana spat.

"All I was trying to say was maybe it's not love your feeling!" Brittany sighed, trying to choose her words carefully, "Maybe you do like me Santana, maybe you are gay, but maybe with all the stresses and worries, added on to the fact you are attracted to me, makes it feel a little more intense than it actually is?" Brittany said as she shrunk back a little, seeing the look on Santana's face.

"Brittany, I love you." Santana said for what felt like the thirtieth time that night; it wasn't getting any easier.

"Do you even know what love is?" Brittany sighed.

"When I look into your eyes, I feel like I'm flying. When you giggle at something I say, I feel the world is a better place. When you link our pinkies as we walk down the hall, my heart flutters and my head goes light. When we hug after Cheerio practice when we go home, I never want to let you go, because I feel like any time spend without you, is a minute not worth having. Every time you say my name, I feel like the angels are singing." Santana wiped away her tears and looked at Brittany.

"But, Santana.."

"You know what, Brittany?" Santana shook her head in disbelief, "I have just poured my heart out to you. I've told you how I feel and what you mean to me, and all you can do is make me prove it. Brittany, the love I have for you can never be proved in words or actions. I did not come here for a fucking job interview, I came here to help mend our friendship, but you know what? Fuck you, Brittany. Don't speak to me at school, don't text, don't call. I probably won't ever stop this feeling I have for you, or the pain that it causes me, but you know, I'll get used to it." And with that, Santana stood up and headed for the door.

"Santana!" Brittany shouted for her friend to come back.

"Have a nice life, Brittany." Santana looked round at the blonde girl who was sat on her bed crying so hard no sound was coming from her body as the tears fell silently, "I love you, and I don't know why."

Santana urged her tears to stay at bay, but it was no use, she let one tear fall, then another, then another, and before she knew it, they just wouldn't stop.

Brittany was sat on her bed, her own tears falling down her cheeks at a steady pace, also. She'd just witnessed her best friend tell her she was gay, and that she was in love with someone, and that someone was her; then she watched her walk away. It hadn't quite sunk in for Brittany yet, she still felt dumb. _Santana was gone._

…

**You coming into school today? Kurt**

Brittany looked at the text; memories of last night fresh in her mind.

**No. Can you come to mine after? I need to talk. – B**

Brittany sighed. She couldn't deal with seeing Taylor today, especially after Santana expressed her love last night. I would feel wrong.

**Sure thing. Keep smiling ;D - Kurt**

Brittany turned her phone off and turned in her blanket, trying to catch up on some sleep she lost last night.

…

Quinn and Santana were sitting in an empty choir room at lunch. They had told the Glee members that they really needed to talk, so they were guaranteed an empty room for the whole lunch hour; much to Rachel's disappointment.

"Santana, you really need to tell me what happened!" Quinn sighed, grabbing Santana's tanned hand and interlacing their fingers.

"So, I basically went up to her room and she were playing her guitar, singing a song about how much she missed me, but she didn't know I was listening at the door. It was beautiful." Santana smiled at the memory.

"And that's all?" Quinn asked is disbelief, "So why did you come in today and break down in the girls' toilets and then refuse to listen to me, and miraculously, Brittany isn't in school today."

"No." Santana took a deep breath, "I told her I loved her, there were tears and a few words, but she more or less accepted who I was, rejected who I love and told me that I probably wasn't in love with her." Santana sighed, letting more tears fall down her cheeks. Crying was second nature nowadays.

"It'll be okay, Santana," Quinn reassured, "What always gets people through the bad times? Singing. And you love singing. So go, pick a song, and sing it at Glee club." Quinn gave Santana a warm smile, "Come on, let's think of a song, you have twenty minutes." Quinn winked.

"Okay," Santana sighed, deciding that singing always helped her, "And I'm sorry Quinn, over the last few years I feel like we've drifted apart, and then when my life comes crashing down around me, you're right there with me, thanks." Santana smiled, wiping away a few remaining tears.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Quinn winked, "Hurry and pick a song."

"Quinn, I love it when Brittany's here, but I hate it when she's here." Santana blurted.

"You're confused. What about her?" Quinn replied.

"When I left last night, she sent me three texts saying how sorry she was and how she wants everything back to normal, she thinks it's so simple, but it's not Q, it's not!" Santana cried.

"Hey, calm down, San!"

"I love her, but I hate how she makes me feel!" Santana cried.

"Ssh, just sing about it!"

…

"Santana, you have a song?" Mr. Schue asked as he entered Glee club.

"I do." Santana said sadly, Quinn gave her a nod, assuring her everything will be alright.

"I, Santana Lopez, am in love." Gasps surrounded around the Glee club, "This person doesn't love me back, what can I do? It's without doubt, the worst feeling in the world."

"Brava, Santana! Brava." Rachel said dramatically as she tried to encourage the Latina.

"Ew, go away Man hands." Santana spat as she shot a disgusted look at Rachel before turning to Mr. Schue.

"What are you going to sing, Santana?"

"Pixie Lott."

"Pixie who?" Puck asked, a confused look spreading across his face.

"Pixie Lott. She's huge in Britain, insanely gorgeous and her voice is perhaps the most beautiful think I have ever heard, you guys seriously need to check her out." Santana shrugged.

"Okay, show us what you got Santana!" Mr. Schue encouraged as he took the seat Santana had just vacated.

Santana took in a deep breath as she listened carefully to the opening chords of the songs, waiting for her cue. Before the song started, a tall blonde stood at the door way; Santana didn't notice.

_I only miss you when you call,_

_So please, don't pick up the phone, again._

_In the confusion of it all, give me time_

_While my mind's unraveling,_

Santana was so caught up in her own little world, she didn't notice the blonde dancer walk in behind her, listening intently as the Latina sang.

_I can't escape this feeling,_

_But it's taking over me, all over me,_

_I know now, I can't try to hide it,_

_It's clear to me, I can't fight it._

Brittany looked at the Latina with sad eyes as she finally realized that she had been selfish last night.

_You want to take it back to where it was,_

_But I can't make this over, I can't make this over_

_You want another chance to try again,_

_But I can't make this over; I can't make this over, now._

Quinn's eyes welled with tears as she watched Brittany's heart shatter as she listened to Santana pour her heart out.

_Don't say I don't miss the way we were_

_I thought nothing could tear us, apart,_

_Why does __**he**__ have to sabotage our love?_

_And leave me with a broken heart._

Santana hoped nobody would notice that she changed the word "you" to "he". She wanted to make sure everybody knew, the person she loved, had chosen someone else.

_You think I won't forgive you,_

_It's far beyond a break-up,_

_Kiss and make up._

_I know that it's not about it,_

_I know that I can't live without you._

Brittany watched with watery eyes as she saw Santana pour her heart out. As she listened to the song, the more it felt like good bye. She knew the situation with Santana was very new to her, but to Santana, it was getting old and she was getting bored of the pain of seeing Brittany with somebody else. And Brittany's words last night hadn't help. In Brittany's eyes, this was Santana saying that she'll never love anybody else except Brittany, but she won't continue pretending she's okay.

_And now, I'll follow my head,_

_And now, you're out of my life,_

_And now…_

Santana changed the lyrics yet again. The correct lyrics are "follow my heart," but Santana wasn't following her heart. Her heart was telling her to go and fight for Brittany, but her head was telling her to stop chasing, to stop hurting herself.

_You want to take it back to where it was,_

_But I can't make this over; I can't make this over,_

_You want another chance to try again, _

_But I can't make this over, I can't make this over._

Santana let a lonely tear fall down her face as the Glee club erupted in claps and congratulations for Santana. They were proud.

"I'm sorry, I need to go!" Santana picked up her bag and rushed out the door, accidently knocking into somebody, "Sorry." Santana said quickly.

"That was beautiful." A light voice floated through the air, striking Santana.

"Brittany!" Santana gasped.

"I heard you sing." Brittany said sadly, "Was it about me?"

"It was." Santana replied.

"I understand." Brittany smiled sadly, "I'm sorry that things are changing, but please don't give up on me Santana, our time will come." Brittany smiled and walked away.

_Our time will come. _What did she mean by "our", Santana thought.

**In case you didn't know, Britt falls in love with the person, not the gender. Keep that in mind before you push her out of your life. – Q **

Santana's sudden text from Quinn had all the answers she needed.

**Quinn, tomorrow we're going to Brittany's dancing lesson. I'm singing her a soppy love song, one final push for her before I give up. Lopez is going all out to get her girl – San x**

Quinn's reply was immediate.

**Perfect, that's the spirit - Q x**

Santana flipped her phone down before walking out of the large double doors of McKinley high, completely ignoring that fact she would miss her math lesson if she left now, but she didn't care.

Finally, there was a glimmer of hope in Santana Lopez's life.

….

**Right. That's this chapter done; finally, we might get into some happy Brittana. **

**Anyway, on the subject of Pixie Lott, I'm assuming most of you are from America, so perhaps you haven't heard of Pixie, but PLEASE check her out. She is huge in Britain, her voice is amazing and she's just an amazing girl. **

**Pixie Lott – Poker Face, Apologize, Fix You, Isn't She Lovely, Broken Arrow, Use Somebody Seriously, listen.**


	6. Close my eyes, listen, realize

**Close my eyes, listen, realize**.

Brittany Pierce sat alone in her room, hugging her duck pillow Santana always uses when she visits Brittany. It smells like the Latina. Brittany continued flicking through the images on her phone. Sometimes she was smiling with Santana, others she was smiling as Santana pulled a face, but more often than not, Brittany was smiling into the camera while her brunette friend gazed at her. Thousands of thoughts flooded through Brittany's mind.

_How long did she feel like this?_

_How hard was it for her to come out?_

_Is she thinking about me right now? I hope she is.._

A small tap brought Brittany out of her thoughts. It was her mom.

"Hey, Britt!" Her mother chirped.

"Hello." Brittany sighed.

"Something wrong cupcake?"

"It's Santana," Brittany paused, "She um-, never mind." Brittany sighed. It wasn't right to talk about Santana.

"Okay, How's Taylor?" Brittany's mom asked.

"Um, I don't know, we hardly talk and to be honest, I don't really think about how he is." Brittany shrugged.

"I see, so, who do you think about?"

"Santana, mostly." Brittany sighed, "She's like, the best person that ever happened to me and she's got some things going on right now and I worry."

"Oh, I see." Brittany's mom said knowingly before walking out the room. _Those girls need to get their shit together._ She thought.

…

"Santana!" Quinn shrieked, "Stop, Brittany's going to be here in a matter of minutes, pick a damn dress!"

"Ugh, but black says sexy and classy, but red says hot and sexy!"

"Black, Santana!" Quinn shrugged, "Just hurry, because I'm leaving. Take the chicken out in ten minutes!" Quinn laughed as she shrugged on her over-sized coat.

"Got it!"

"Get your girl, Lopez!" Quinn winked as she left the room.

Santana had invited Brittany over earlier for dinner. She was hoping that they could eat the homemade dish, curl up and watch a film, just like old times. Santana also hoped that throughout the night, she'd be able to tell Brittany just how much she meant to her. There was a knock.

Santana slowly walked over to the door, smoothing down her outfit as she went. The young Latina slowly turned the door knob, pulled gently and saw the object of her desires. But then – Santana's heart collapsed.

Stood in front of her, the blonde was dressed in a baggy t-shirt, worn out jeans and scruffy converse, but the thing that made Santana want to fall to her knees, was the thick, black mascara streams that fell from the blonde's puffy, red eyes.

"Brittany!" Santana gasped as she took the frail girl into her arms.

"T-Ta-Taylor!" Brittany whimpered.

"Come on, sit down babe!" Santana whispered as she guided the blonde to the couch. Thankfully they were alone as her parents decided that an impromptu trip to Madrid was needed.

Santana pressed a bottle of chilled water to Brittany's lips and let the gentle liquid slide down the blonde's throat.

"Wanna talk?" Santana asked.

"Just hold me for a minute, San." Brittany begged, wiping away tears that threatened to fall.

"Shh, come here!" Santana soothed. The brunette changed her position so her back was against the side of the couch and she gently pulled Brittany against her body so the blonde was sitting between Santana's legs, her back against Santana's chest. Santana wrapped her arms Brittany's stomach and drew soothing circles on her friend's hands as she let her emotions even out.

"He cheat-, Taylor cheated." Brittany wept as she squeezed Santana's hands tighter. Santana's heart ached for the girl she loved. Brittany loved Taylor.

"I'm so sorry Brittany."

"I love him, Santana." Brittany sighed, "I know you don't want to talk to me about loving somebody else, especially after all of this about us, but you're the only one I can talk to."

"Shh, Brit. My issues are my issues, you can come and cry to me whenever you want. I'm always here to hear you laugh, wipe away the tears and hold you close. Always." Santana told her.

"I love you so much, San." Brittany said.

"I love you too, Britt." Santana smiled sadly. _If only you knew how much._

The two girls sat like that for a few more minutes before Santana broke the silence.

"How do you know he cheated?" Santana asked tentatively.

"I called him, and when he picked up he was out of breath and he was giggling a lot and there was a girl in the back ground, he said he was busy, then he hung up." Brittany sobbed.

"Then what did you do?"

"I sent him a text telling him it was over." Brittany shrugged sadly.

"I'm so proud of you Britt-Britt." Santana squeezed the blonde's small frame and nuzzled her nose into the blonde's shoulder.

"Sing to me, San." Brittany asked.

"Uh..um, what will I sing?" Santana asked, taken aback by the request.

"Whatever's on your mind." Brittany told her.

"Um, okay." Santana drew in a shaky breath an began.

_This is a crazy world,_

_These can be lonely days,_

_It's hard to know who's on your side,_

_Most of the time,_

_Who can you really trust?_

_Who do you really know?_

_Is there anybody out there, who can make you feel less alone?_

_Sometimes you just can't make it on your own._

The blonde relaxed into Santana's body and closed her eyes as Santana clasped her hand tightly over the blonde's and let her voice ring around the house.

_If you need a place where you can run,_

_If you need a shoulder to cry on,_

_Well, I'll always be your friend,_

_When you need some shelter from the rain,_

_When you need a healer for your pain,_

_I will be there time and time again,_

_When you need someone to love you,_

_Here I am._

Brittany's smile grew as she silently listened to the Latina's gentle words fall from her perfect lips. Santana on the other hand, was trying her hardest not to cry.

_If you have broken dreams,_

_Just lay them all on me,_

_I'll be the one, who understands,_

_So take my hand,_

_If there is emptiness, _

_You know I'll do my best,_

_To fill you up with all the love _

_That I can somehow show,_

_I promise you you'll never walk alone,_

Santana allowed her first tear of the night to fall, as Brittany held back hers once again.

_If you need a place where you can run,_

_If you need a shoulder to cry on,_

_I'll always be your friend,_

_When you need some shelter from the rain,_

_When you need a healer for your pain,_

_I will be there time and time again,_

_When you need someone to love you,_

_Here I am._

Santana closed her eyes, willing her emotions to stay under control for just a few more seconds. Brittany also closed her eyes, gripping Santana's tanned hands tighter as she willed Santana to go on.

_Everybody needs somebody who,_

_They can pour their heart and soul into,_

_If you need a place where you can run,_

_If you need a shoulder to cry on,_

_I'll always be your friend,_

Santana drew in one final, shaky breath as she prepared herself for the final few lines of the heartfelt song.

_When you need some shelter from the rain,_

_When you need a healer for the pain,_

_I will be there time and time again,_

_When you need someone to love you,_

_Here I am._

Santana sighed and nuzzled her nose into Brittany's shoulder once again, telling her that the song was finished.

"Thank you." Brittany said sincerely.

"No problem." Santana said dryly, holding back the tears.

"I love you." Brittany whispered, it was barely audible, but Santana heard it.

"Please, Brit." Santana said shakily, "Don't say it if you don't mean it like I want you to."

Brittany sighed and kissed Santana's knuckles before closing her eyes and relaxing into Santana's embrace. Brittany thought to herself in the silence.

_I do mean it._

…_._

**Thank you. **

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! **


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